


As Long As the Sea Washes Upon the Sand

by lullys



Series: Anchor Verse [2]
Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cruise Ship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:58:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6889063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullys/pseuds/lullys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their wedding, Jared and Jensen spend some great days on a cruise through Hawaii. Everything is perfect and Jared can’t wait to officially start married life with Jensen. But some things insist on not being left in the past, and Jensen will have to decide where his priorities lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Long As the Sea Washes Upon the Sand

**Author's Note:**

> This is a timestamp for my 2015 Big Bang I Will Anchor You. You must read that one first in order to understand what's happening here. I wrote this because I was feeling a bit lost after finishing my 2016 big bang, and spending a whole year dedicating myself to it. I had been thinking about a timestamp for this one for a while, and I'm glad it came out. Thanks to my Wifey Karri for giving me ideas for it as always, and also Sarah for the grammar tips. If there are errors in it, I apologize!
> 
> I chose this title because this was the original title of I Will Anchor You. I chose it back then because I needed something to call my fic, and the song How Long Will I Love You by Ellie Goulding came on the radio and I felt inspired by it. I eventually changed it, but thought it would be cool to use it now.
> 
> Thanks for reading it, I hope you like it and all the feedback is much appreciated!

“Jen, I lost my shoe.”

Jensen looks up from where he has been checking the pictures on his phone and finds an extremely annoyed Jared with only one sandal in his hand. Jensen can’t help but chuckle, even though he knows it will piss off his husband even more.

“You think this is funny, Jensen?” Jared asks, lifting an eyebrow at him. Jensen tries to keep a straight face but fails, a full body laugh taking over him because the sight before his eyes is too funny to let it go.

Both men had been taking selfies moments before, enjoying the beautiful sunset at the beach. They had been walking aimlessly on the shore, holding each other’s hand and their shoes. It had been Jensen’s idea that they stopped to take a picture since the sun starting to set and the orange sky above the sea made a gorgeous scenery. So they had left their sandals on the sand and Jensen had spent some time until he had found the perfect place and then had taken about 20 pictures before he was satisfied.

And then, while he was going through all of them, Jared went to collect their shoes only to find out one of his had been washed away by the tide. And apparently that’s a huge problem since Jared is throwing his remaining sandal at Jensen to get him to stop laughing.

Jensen dodges the flying shoe and walks towards Jared, picking up his own shoes on the way. He places a chaste kiss on his husband’s cheek and grabs his hand.

“Come on, Cinderella. Time to go back to the hotel.” They have barely started to walk when Jared stops them.

“What did you call me?” He asks, in an indignant voice.

Jensen pulls Jared so they are walking again, since it will be dark soon and they are a bit far from their hotel.

“Well, you’ve lost your shoe, and I happen to know of only one other person known for losing their shoe.”

Jared bitches during the whole walk back to the hotel.

“I mean, why me??? Yours were right next to mine, WHY ONLY MY SHOE?”

They are almost there, and Jensen decides to step in.

“Baby, relax, it’s just a sandal. I’ll get you a brand new one first thing tomorrow, okay Cinder? Or do you want me to call Fairy Godmother to turn some rats into horses so we can get to the hotel faster?”

Jared stops and looks at Jensen with his mouth agape. “Oh, you’re so on!” He lets go of Jensen’s hand and tries to climb on his back.

“What the hell are you doing???” Jensen tries his best not to fall down when Jared puts all his weight on his back, giving him no choice but to grab his husband’s thighs to keep them both upright.

“Well mister” Jared says while planting a kiss on the side of Jensen’s neck, “if I’m fucking Cinderella then you better be my Prince Charming. And since I’m shoeless you have to carry me back to our castle.”

Jensen protests but it’s only half-heartedly. Jared is heavy but he doesn’t mind since the hotel is just across the street from where they are now. Plus, he’d carry his husband anywhere.

Jared makes Jensen carry him up to their room, and of course they attract everyone’s attention. Jared smiles, telling people he has just been rescued by a Prince and is about to have a happy ending. Jensen can’t help but smile, even if he’s a little embarrassed.

When they arrive in their room, Jensen throws Jared on the bed and he doesn’t bother with the sand or the fact they are both sweating, he undresses his husband. Opening him up carefully, Jensen makes love to him slowly, worshipping his body like he always does, never getting used to the masterpiece that is Jared Padalecki.

After showering together, both boys dress in hawaiian shirts and shorts, and leave for dinner and drinks at a local bar with a view to the sea.

When the waiter brings their drinks, which have more than one color and little pink umbrellas on top, they make a toast.

“Here’s to endless moments like this, my man!” As they both drink, Jensen smiles at the sight of Jared in front of him. It’s hard to believe so much has happened and they really ended up together.

Jensen’s gaze wanders away, and lands on the ocean before them. Kaluhui is gorgeous and Jensen is happy they chose Hawaii for their honeymoon. True to their word, the boys had booked an eleven day Hawaiian cruise that allowed them to spend a night or two in each city before sailing them to the next spot. They loved that it allowed them to explore the islands at their own pace, specially with nobody else tagging along.

The boys had gotten married a year after Jensen proposed to Jared. It was a small affair, only for their families and close friends, held on Jensen’s family home in Texas. It had been a beautiful afternoon with a simple ceremony followed by a reception. Some of their friends had flown from New York to Texas, including of course Chad and Stephen who had served as Jared’s groomsmen. Jensen had also invited Chris, since they had gradually become close again, even hanging out together on a few occasions, but when he didn’t attend, Jensen couldn’t say he blamed him. What happened between Jensen and him was in the past, but to watch your ex get married is understandably awkward, so he didn’t push when Chris declined the invitation.

And now they are both here, a few days of honeymoon still ahead of them. Tomorrow morning they will board the ship again and sail to the next destination. Jensen can’t believe how lucky he is to have Jared as his husband, and that they’ve been able to spend those days together, only enjoying the cruise and without having to worry about anything else for a change. It’s a great night.

**

Jared opens the door to their house, turning around to place a quick kiss to Jensen’s mouth before getting in.

“Welcome home, baby.” Jared says in a cheerful voice as he drops the luggage on the floor. The door is barely closed behind them when they hear barking.

“Looks like someone has missed their daddies.” Jared chuckles as he opens the door again to see their neighbor Danneel walking towards their house, barely able to control an overly excited Sadie, who is running towards them, eager to greet her owners, who she hasn’t seen for days.

“Hey girl, daddy missed you!” Jared cheers as Sadie pretty much jumps on him, licking his face and every body part she can find. When she’s satisfied, it’s Jensen’s turn to get drooled over, and Jared turns to Danneel, who steps forward to give him a welcome hug.

“Danni, thanks for taking good care of our baby.” He tells her as they break apart.

“It’s no big deal at all Jare!” The woman replies as she playfully slaps Jared’s arm. “I adore Sadie and we had a great time! How was the cruise, by the way???”

“It was fucking awesome!” It’s Jensen who answers this time, when Sadie has finally calmed down enough to be content by just being held by his daddy. “Hawaii is a fucking paradise and I almost didn’t want to come back.”

Danneel smiles at both of them. “Awesome! I wanna hear everything but I bet you guys are drained. Why don’t you come over for dinner and you guys can tell me all about it? I imagine you still have some grocery shopping to do, right?”

Jared leans over and plants a kiss on Danneel’s forehead. “Thanks babe, you’re a lifesaver. Jen and I would be lost without you.”

“Of course you would. You folks need a girl in your too manly live anyway.”

Both men are still laughing as they enter their house, waving at Danneel who’s closing her door. Jared runs to open the back door and let Sadie out to run around. He takes a good look at their backyard with it’s grill, wood table and large pool, and he smiles. This is his and Jensen’s home and he loves every piece of it. They had moved here about 6 months ago, when the last book of his Supernatural trilogy was released. They had decided together that they wanted a place that was only theirs, and bigger than Jensen’s apartment. Jensen himself had suggested it first, his old place held a lot of memories of his relationship with Chris, and with the wedding approaching, he wanted a place that Jared and him could start building their own memories, somewhere brand new. Jared had requested a backyard because he really wanted to have a dog, but that was something Tom always refused. He had rescued Sadie about two weeks after they moved in, and Jensen had immediately fell in love with the dog as well, welcoming her into their little family with open arms.

By the time Jared comes back inside, Jensen is gone but he can hear the shower running. It’s not a surprise since his husband had been bitching the entire ride back from the airport that he was sticky and needed to clean himself up asap.

Jared thinks about walking to the kitchen to grab himself a cold beer - if there’s one in the fridge that is - when he hears a beep. His head turns towards the sound and he realizes Jensen has left his phone on the coffee table. Being the curious man Jared is, he peeks closer to read the new message on the screen.

_“Hey JR, I hope the trip was fun and that you arrived home safe. Gimme a heads up, will ya?”_

Jared immediately tenses when he finishes reading, because the message is from Chris and Jared doesn’t like it one bit. Jensen always brushes it off, says it’s nothing, but Jared knows different.

Jensen had told him about his relationship with Chris, how they used to be long time friends who got involved eventually, and Jensen had assured Jared more than once that he thought he loved Chris, but only found out what love actually was when he met Jared on the cruise. He had said he and Chris still talked eventually, they had even met once or twice because they had friends in common, and had assured Jared it was only friendship. Jensen had said he was glad his friendship with Chris could be salvaged, but Jared could see underneath it. He had only met Chris once, when he and Jensen went out with Jensen’s friends, and Jared could see as bright as day that Chris still has feeling for Jensen. Just the way he talked to the man, or looked at him when he thought nobody else was looking, told Jared everything he needed to know. Jensen might assure him he had only friendship feelings towards Chris, but on Chris’ side, it was a whole other story.

Jared tried to warn Jensen a lot of times, telling him Chris still loved him but Jensen won’t listen. He always says it’s bullshit, that Jared is crazy. Then he’d kiss Jared and change the subject. Jared just hopes it won’t become a problem.

When Jensen gets out of the shower and Jared tells him he has a message from his friend, Jensen just smiles and goes to check it. Jared thinks about saying something but he’s too tired right now and he doesn’t want to lose his appetite because he loves Danni’s food. He tries to take it off his mind but doesn’t succeed completely.

**

It’s Saturday evening, a couple of weeks after they had come back from Hawaii. Jensen is alone in the house as Jared has taken Sadie for a walk. He had suggested earlier to Jared that they go see a movie later, there’s a new Batman one he’s dying to see.

Jensen decides to take a shower and change as he waits for his husband to come back home. He takes his time, and even jerks himself off think about Jared’s amazing body, thinking about what they could be doing later. The thought itself makes him come as fast as a teenager. The things Jared does to him.

Jensen exits the en suite bathroom with only a towel around his waist. Before he walks to the closet to pick up some clothes though, his phone lights up from where it’s sitting on the nightstand, with a new message. Jensen walks towards it, unlocking the screen to see who it is, maybe Jared saying he’s gonna be home soon.

As it turns out, it’s not Jared at all.

_“Hey JR, look I’m having some trouble with my computer and since you are the geek one, do you think you could come over and help me with it? If you are not too busy I mean, it will be quick I promise! I need rescue!”_

Jensen frowns at that. Sure he doesn’t mind going over to Chris’ to help him, but he has a feeling Jared will. His husband got this crazy idea that Chris still has feelings for Jensen, which is insane. They are great friends, as they were before getting involved, that’s it. He loves how Jared is jealous of him, but there’s no reason to. Still, it won’t be fun to tell his husband he’s going to Chris’ house to help him out.

As Jensen is changing into some clothes, he hears the front door opening and Sadie’s excited barks. He takes a deep breath as he runs downstairs to meet his husband.

“Hey babe!” Jared smiles when he sees Jensen, “Don’t come any closer tho, I’m sweating like a pig. I’ll take a shower so we can go see the movie, kay?”

Jensen looks down, unable to meet his husband’s eyes. “Hmm babe, about that…”

Jared frowns. “What?”

“Can I… can I have a raincheck?” Jensen looks anywhere but Jared’s eyes.

“Why? What happened Jensen?” The smile drops from Jared’s face and Jensen feels awful.

“It’s just… Chris messaged me, he asked if I could come over to try and fix his computer and…” Jensen’s voice is low and Jared doesn’t let him finish.

“Are you fucking kidding me Jensen??” Jared’s voice is angry, as he throws but arms to the side in exasperation. “You can’t be serious.”

“What’s the big deal, Jared?” This time Jensen faces his husband, his eyes are narrowed and Jensen doesn’t like what he sees one bit, but he won’t back down. “I’m just gonna go help my friend, what’s wrong with that?”

Jared scoffs. “What’s wrong??? What is wrong is that you’re going to your ex fiance’s house, because he couldn’t ask for anyone’s help but yours. How fucking convenient, Jensen!”

Jensen shakes his head. “Well, it is convenient because you know I’m good with computers and Chris is my friend, Jared! You’re being unreasonable here.”

Jared stares at Jensen as if the man has just killed his puppy. “I can’t believe how blind you are, Jensen. It’s fucking obvious what Christian wants, what he has always wanted, the way he looks at you when he thinks nobody is paying attention. The man still loves you, this is just a fucking excuse, it’s unbelievable that you don’t see that!”

“You’re crazy, Jared. You’re jealous and you’re crazy, you’re seeing things where there aren’t any. Do you want me all to yourself, you don’t want me to have friends??”

Jared actually laughs, but it’s a humorless one. “Yes, Jensen I am crazy. Perhaps I was crazy when I thought you actually loved only me. Because maybe you’re enjoying this too much, maybe it’s not a one sided thing. Apparently I’m the blind one here, not you. You and Christian go way back, you have a history together. I’m just the random vulnerable guy that you met on a cruise and thought it was a good change. Perhaps now you’re realizing you’re regretting that decision, and calling me crazy because I can finally see what it is. You know what, just go.”

Jared walks past Jensen and starts to walk upstairs, and it takes a few moments for Jared’s words to sink in, it’s like all the fight has left Jensen.

“Jared please, let’s talk…”

Jared turns around, his eyes suspiciously red as he screams, interrupting whatever Jensen meant to say. “JUST FUCKING GO!”

With that, Jared runs up the stairs, and Jensen only snaps out of it when the bedroom door slams shut.

**

As Jensen drives to Chris’ house, he tries to remain calm. He could have gone after Jared, but then he’d just give in to his husband’s nonsense. Jared is jealous of Jensen’s ex and he’s delusional by it, they are just old friends and there’s nothing more to it. He’s gonna go help Chris out as he waits for Jared to calm down, and then he will have a talk with his husband to work things out. Jared is crazy if he thinks Jensen loves Chris more than him.

Jensen rings the doorbell and Chris welcomes him, telling Jensen to get inside. When Chris takes a look at his face though, his smile falters.

“Something wrong, JR?”

“Nah, just had an argument with Jared, that’s all. Don’t worry about it.” Jensen shrugs.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” The look on Chris’ face doesn’t look sorry at all, but Jensen doesn’t think too much about it as he walks towards the computer, ready to see what’s happening to it.

Chris stops beside Jensen a few minutes later, two beers in his hand. Jensen takes one and thanks him, without taking his eyes off the screen.

“So, what did you say was the problem again?” When Jensen finally looks up, he notices Chris is standing way closer to him than he should.

Chris shrugs and Jensen can see he’s actually blushing. “Actually… the computer is working just fine. I just wanted you to come here.”

Jensen frowns, standing up and taking a step away from Chris, but the other man quickly closes the distance between them and without any warnings, presses his lips against Jensen’s.

For a split second, Jensen kisses Chris back, mostly because he’s taking by surprise and this is familiar, Jensen has done this countless times. But then his brain finally works again, and Jensen thinks about Jared and this whole situation. He pushes Chris away with much more force than he should, but he doesn’t care.

“What the fucking hell do you think you’re doing Christian??” Jensen wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, staring at the man with a horrified expression.

“Jensen, please…” Chris takes a tentative step towards Jensen, but stops when Jensen holds up a hand. “I miss you so much, and we were just perfect together. I understand that you were confused, and Jared was right there, but Jesus, Jensen. We’ve known each other for years, we had a great relationship. I love you, I never stopped loving you. I just want you to see that, I’m willing to forgive everything that happened between you and Jared if you just come back to me, I…”

Jensen has had too much of it already, and his head is spinning. “Hold on a second here. You’re actually saying what I think you’re saying? You want me back and this was all a big lie just to get me here? Don’t you have any respect for me at all? God Chris, you were the one who even told me where to find Jared in the first place!”

Chris scoffs. “Yes, and I was trying to be the better person, but I regret that, okay?? I’m not a good person and I’m selfish, I want you to myself, is that a crime?”

“YES!” Jensen shouts. “It’s a crime because you know I’m happy! I told you this before Chris, I never loved you like you deserved. I thought I did, but I didn’t. I could never be completely happy with you, and it would be unfair to both of us if we went on with the wedding. Jared makes me happy, happier than I’ve ever been, everyday, and oh my God… he warned me, so many times, that you had second intentions, and I called him crazy. I had a fight with my husband because of you, I defended you and he was fucking right all along. What the hell have I done, oh my God… I need to go back to him.”

Jensen starts walking towards the door, but Chris grabs his arm. “Jensen, wait please…”

Jensen jerks away from Chris’ gasp like his arm is on fire. “Don’t touch me, Chris. What you did was dirty, you had no right to kiss me when you know I’m married and you just set me up to come here. I thought we could still be friends but I was clearly wrong.”

Jensen opens the door when he hears Chris’ quiet voice. “Jensen…”

“Bye, Christian.” Jensen doesn’t even look back.

Jensen doesn’t even know how he manages to drive all the way back home. He’s almost blinded with tears, specially tears of shame, for the way he treated Jared, for actually being so blind. Jared had told him so many times, he was fucking right and Jensen brushed him off every single time. He feels so stupid, he needs to make it up to Jared somehow.

By the time Jensen pulls up on the driveway, he feels nervous as fuck. He slowly walks towards the front door, trying to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. When he unlocks the door and gets inside, he knows something isn’t right. All lights are turned off, and even if Jared is sleeping, he always leaves a light on if Jensen is still out. If Jared is indeed sleeping, he must be way more pissed than Jensen thought. But then, Sadie should be already trying to climb on him, and he can’t even hear her. A quick look at their backyard tells Jensen Sadie isn’t there. Perhaps she’s upstairs with Jared, also pissed at him.

Jensen climbs the steps two at a time, and quietly opens the door to their room. Jensen immediately notices Jared isn’t there and his heart sinks. Did Jared leave him? Did he seriously think Jensen loved Chris more than him? Jensen sits down on their bed and has to take deep breaths because he feels a panic attack coming. He can’t lose Jared, he can’t live without Jared and he will go to hell and back to get his husband back.

Just as he’s about to get up and go find Jared, Jensen notices a note on his nightstand. He almost trips on his hurry to get to it, quickly opening it and recognizing his husband’s handwriting.

_“In case you even come back, I’m at Danneel’s. Leave me alone, please.”_

There’s a smudge on the ink, much likely from Jared’s tears. Jensen feels like there’s a knife piercing through his heart when he reads Jared’s words again. Tears fall from his face, he has hurt his husband deeply and he needs to fix it soon, before he loses Jared for good, and that he can’t deal with.

Jensen fishes his phone out of his pocket, and unlocks it. He opens the camera roll, and goes through the pictures Jared and him took at their honeymoon, stopping at one of those from the sunset at the beach. That had been a perfect day, where they were carefree and happy, and Jensen can’t take it anymore.

He knows Jared has asked to be left alone, but Jensen won’t just sit and wait for everything to crash down even further.

**

Danneel hands Jared a mug of hot chocolate and sits down next to him. Jared holds the mug with both hands, as if the warmth coming from it will help the coldness he’s feeling right now. His eyes ache from crying so much, ever since Jensen left to go to Chris’. He had made his choice, confirming everything Jared accused him of, loving Chris more than him. Jared had run to Danneel’s home, the first place he thought of, bringing Sadie with him. Of course, being the dumb he is, he left Jensen a note because he didn’t want his husband to worry about him, even if he didn’t actually believe Jensen would be coming home any time soon.

When Danni opened the door, Jared launched himself on her, almost knocking her to the ground. He had cried and cried on her shoulder, hugging her tight, and she had hugged him back, allowing him to break down. Only when Jared calmed down enough for Danneel to lead him to the couch, was that he told her everything that happened.

“Jare, don’t think like that.” She had told him once he was finished. “Jensen loves you, he looks at you like you hang the moon and the stars… I’m sure he was just clueless towards Chris’ real feelings, and he will come around. You’ll see.”

Jared didn’t respond, he was totally drained, so Danneel and him had just stayed in silence, pretending to watch silly shows on TV while Jared had tried his best not to think about what was going on between Jensen and Chris right now. What if Jensen came back only to tell him that Jared was right, Jensen had realized Chris was in fact the love of his life and he was going back to him? Jared had been dumped once, by Tom, and it had hurt, yes. But if he lost Jensen… he isn’t sure how he could go on if that happened. He had cared about Tom once, but it’s not even 1% compared to what he feels towards Jensen. This time he can’t go to a cruise and meet someone knew. Because there’s nobody else for him, other than Jensen. Jared is so damn fucked.

Just when Jared is about to take the first sip on his hot chocolate, the doorbell rings. Sadie barks excitedly, and Danni gets up to answer the door.

“What are you doing here?” Danneel’s voice is sharp and picks Jared’s attention. When he hears the other voice though, he almost spits his drink.

“I wanna talk to Jared.” Jensen’s voice sounds broken and defeated. Jared should hide himself in the kitchen and leave Danni to send Jensen away, but Jared is dumb and he finds himself walking towards the door. He stops behind her just as Danni is answering Jensen.

“Well, he sure doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

Jared puts a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay Danni.”

Danneel eyes him and he nods. She studies both of them for a few moments and then leaves both men to it. Jared turns towards Jensen, who is looking awful, as if he has just been crying, and Jared is too hurt to care. It’s damn good Jensen was crying as well.

“What do you want?” He tries to keep his voice cold, but the emotions going inside his body betray him.

“I need to talk to you.” Jensen takes a crumpled paper out of his pocket, showing it to Jared. “I found your note, I know you said I should leave you alone, but I can’t Jay, I want us to sort things out. I won’t spend the night alone in our home without you.”

Jared eyes Jensen for a long time, and he knows he’s gonna give in. That’s who he is, he loves too much, even if the person hurts him. He has no self respect, and that’s what makes him agree to talk to Jensen.

“Fine. Let’s go back to the house.” He hopes Jensen notices he doesn’t call it ‘home’. Not for now. He walks back inside and tells Danneel he’s going to talk to Jensen, and if she could watch Sadie for now.

“Sure baby, don’t worry about it, okay? You go and work things out with your boy. I tried to play tough but he looks like a wreck to me. Just listen to him okay?”

She hugs Jared and he nods at her. When Jared goes back to the front door, he walks past Jensen without sparing him a glance, walking back to their house without waiting for him. Jared hears footsteps behind him and he knows Jensen is following. Hell, if he wasn’t then their problems would become much more serious.

Both men walk into their house and Jared goes to the living room, turning around when Jensen arrives after him.

“Okay, I’m listening. Tell me what happened.” Jared crosses his arms, in a lame attempt of trying to protect himself and look tough.

Jensen flops down on the couch, head between his hands and he doesn’t look at Jared when he answers.

“Chris kissed me.”

Silence lingers between them as Jared processes what Jensen just told him.

“I think I heard wrong.” Because honestly, this has to be wrong.

Jensen looks up at Jared with shining eyes. “You didn’t. Chris kissed me.”

Jared feels as if someone just took his heart out of his chest and is jumping on it. This isn’t happening, it’s a fucking nightmare. It’s like there’s a lump in his throat, but Jared manages to find his voice.

“Well, it was nice of you to come here and let me know. Good job of going straight to the point. Hope you guys are happy.”

Jared runs upstairs as fast as he can, because he’s not sure what he could do if he stays in the same room as Jensen even a second longer.

**

The door slams upstairs and that makes Jensen jump and snap out of his misery. He doesn’t understand what just happened, or why Jared ran away. And then, like a punch to the chest, Jensen’s own words come back to him and he realizes how stupid he was. Jared got it all wrong, he’s thinking Jensen came here to tell that Chris and him are back together. Jesus.

Jensen runs upstairs, and when he opens their bedroom door, he finds Jared sitting on their bed, hunched over, his whole body shaking. Jensen itches to come closer, to comfort Jared, but he knows better than to do that right now. Instead he calls his husband.

“Jared?” His voice is barely more than a whisper, and Jared’s whole body tenses when he hears Jensen’s voice. Jared doesn’t say anything though, and Jensen slowly walks towards him, repeating his name.

“Go away, Jensen.” Jared’s voice is muffled, from where he’s hiding his face in his arms. Jensen’s heart breaks a little more, and he stops in front of Jared, crouching down.

“Jay, please.” Jensen reaches out, but his hand hovers inches away from Jared’s arm. He thinks better of it and lowers his hand, waiting. Slowly, Jared rises his head, his face blotchy and red, eyes bloodshot.

“I don’t want you to leave me.” Jared speaks so slow that Jensen almost misses it. He lets out a deep breath.

“Jay, I’m not going anywhere without you, babe.” Jensen tries to touch Jared , but the man yanks away, getting up and walking towards the window, looking outside.

“But you just said Chris kissed you.”

Jensen makes his way around the bed and stops right behind Jared. “I didn’t say I kissed him.”

Jared shrugs. “Isn’t that the same?”

Jensen has had enough of it, so he grabs Jared’s shoulders and forces the man to turn around and face him. Jared weakly tries to get free, but Jensen holds him tighter, staring right into Jared’s eyes, hoping to get the message across once and for all.

“No, it’s not the same! Chris kissed me but I didn’t kiss him back, Jared! I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough, and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you! You were right all along okay, turns out that Chris still has feelings for me and that’s why he called me there tonight, to make it clear. I feel sorry for him, for having this unrequited feeling, but please baby believe me when I say I feel nothing towards him. Absolutely nothing.”

Jared studies Jensen for a while, and Jensen tries to be patient and wait.

“Really?” Jared asks, his bottom lip quivering and Jensen can’t help himself, he touches it with his thumb, and Jared instinctively leans into Jensen’s touch.

“Really. Jay, I’ve told you this already, I love only you. I thought what I felt for Chris was it, but when I met you on that ship, everything turned upside down in my life. You made me learn what love actually means, and there’s no one else for me, there never will be. I thought Chris and I could be friends, that what happened between us was in the past but I was clearly wrong. He kissed me and he had no right to do that. I’m telling you only because I don’t want anything between us, I’ll always be honest with you. I made it pretty clear for him that it isn’t mutual and you’re the love of my life. I’m cutting ties with him, and I promise I’ll always believe you. Forgive me Jay please, I can’t… I just can’t.”

Jensen’s voice breaks and tears fall down his face. An eternity seems to pass as Jared just looks at Jensen’s face. Then, out of the blue Jensen finds himself with his arms full of Jared, who’s hugging Jensen so tight he may break his ribs, and sobbing on his ear.

“I do Jen, I forgive you, I was so afraid you were gonna tell me you decided to go back to him, I was feeling so insecure.” Jared stutters between sobs.

Jensen breaks apart only enough to place both hands on Jared’s face and look at his husband in the eyes.

“You don’t need to feel that way, babe. Ever since I helped you when you were throwing up over the rail, you are it for me. You eclipsed everyone else, and I only have eyes for you.”

Jensen places a gentle kiss on Jared’s lips, it’s wet and salty from both of their tears, but it also tastes like Jared and to Jensen, there’s no better taste in the world.

“So…” Jensen asks when they break the kiss. “We can still catch the Batman movie.”

Jared scrunches his nose. “Hmm… can I have a raincheck?”

Jensen takes a step back, studying his husband with a frown on his face. “Why?”

Jared doesn’t answer right away, just pushes Jensen, making him walk backwards until his knees hit the bed and he falls down on it, Jared on top of him.

Jared kisses Jensen passionately, both hands possessively on his neck. “Because there are much more important things to do right now, and they can’t wait a second longer.” Jared murmurs into Jensen’s mouth, who smiles and places his hands on Jared’s hips, bringing the man down closer to his body. He’s in his favorite place in the world and he couldn’t agree more.


End file.
